I Hate Everyone: The Story of Lil' Tsao

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Recently, a member of Dank Memes Inc searched "Fuck White People" on Twitter's search engine to find accounts that should be banned but aren't. We found this Gem.

This is not an active account. There are no tweets and the account only has three followers, but someone took the time to make this.

You would think that this account would be following ANTIFA members, NAZI affiliates, and Margaret Sanger, but the following on this account includes Time Magazine, Rockstar Games, Melania Trump, Michelle Obama's Archives, and Nintendo of America.

While researching the identity of this Twitter user so we could initiate a friendly trolling operation, Dank Memes INC came across this cryptic leak:

Does this angry Twitter account belong to Lil' Tsao? Dank Memes INC sent a team of investigators to California, USA, in order to discover if this Twitter account belonged to the mysterious "Lil' Tsao."

...and what they've uncovered is shocking!

The person that started this account is in fact LIl' Tsao and Lil' Tsao is verified as always being angry. One investigator lost grip on her cellphone and Lil Tsao took it from her and beat her with it. Another reporter got hit with a shovel by Lil' Tsao. The latter reports that Lil' Tsao quoted "This is the shovel I'm going to bury your white-ass with, muh fuhka. Bitches on the street call me Shovel Chang... 'cause when they see this shovel, they feel like a Wang."

One of our investigators happened to uncover the shoe box that LIl' Tsao keeps all of her possessions in. They were able to provide the following bits of information from the records and half-kept journals found there:

Before moving to California, Lil Tsao was born a poor white child in Louisiana. When she was 7, her father told her to to go out into the bayou to forage for some gumbo ingredients. On her way to the river, she noticed a mysterious hat resting on the path.

Lil' Tsao, known as Francine Pier at the time, swept up the hat with eager hands and placed it on her head.

To her amazement, the hat was a magical hat and she was instantly turned into an angry Asian. Being a cursed object, the hat cannot be removed, thus making Lil Tsao a permanant menacing minority.

Also, another downside of the cursed hat is that it attracts more hats. The magic works kind of like a magnet. Just when you think you have enough hats on your head, poof, a head warmer and a trucker cap both come flying through the window.

How she arrived in California is still unknown.

That's all Dank Memes can report on at the moment. We have four investigators in a California Intensive Care Unit because of Lil' Tsao. Investigators were also using Uber to move around. When Lil' Tsao found out a driver was Jewish, one of the interns on site lost her life trying to save the Jewish driver because Lil' Tsao was going to put him in an oven.